


Will You Still Be Here?

by orangecreamsicle



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dark, M/M, Sad, Short One Shot, damn you peer pressure, it's still Halloween here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 11:39:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2546201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orangecreamsicle/pseuds/orangecreamsicle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can't help who you fall in love with.</p><p>Or when...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Will You Still Be Here?

**Author's Note:**

> Who likes pain? Heck, who doesn't!
> 
> It's still Halloween where I'm at, and well, everyone's doing it.  
> I have no self-control.
> 
> Also, I don't know how to rate this. It's not too bad...

* * *

 

He caresses my cheek, as he did last time and the time before that.  What was it, every Friday he came over?  It was hard to keep track now- but that sounded about right.  He stares deep into my eyes while the back of his fingers gently travel alongside my jaw, his touch so light, so soft I barely feel it- yet my flesh burns everywhere our skin meets.  The room is dark, save for the light streaming in from the fully open window.  Despite the fact that fall is in full swing it’s an unseasonably warm October night, and I do not particularly like being a sweaty mess- more than could be helped anyway.  My bedroom is on the second story, so we didn’t really have to worry about someone spying on us or breaking in. 

I sighed deeply.  It was the same every time.  I could never figure out that emotion I could see in his eyes, I was certain I’d never seen it worn by anyone else I’d ever known and though I had repeatedly asked him at first, he’d always tell me I was seeing things, that the only thing in his eyes was me because he loved me so much there wasn’t room for anything else.  He always knew just how to get me flustered and after being left rendered speechless the first few times I stopped asking because I didn’t know how to deal with it. 

I’d never gotten attached to anyone before; wasn’t really interested in even trying; didn’t want all the drama and problems that came with it.  Somehow this kid managed to change something in me, I suddenly found myself craving his company, I actually wanted him to be around and was scared out of my mind each time he would leave- scared that he wouldn’t come back.  It was the best and worst feeling ever and it scared me so much I very nearly drove him away.

I guess I’m lucky he’s a stubborn little punk because I don’t know what I’d do without him now.  It’s hard to remember what my life was like before him now.  Had I really been alone?  Did I really prefer it that way?  Maybe.  It sounded right anyway.

His fingertips burned the delicate skin of my lips.  I gasped softly at the unexpected touch.  Damn.  I’d gotten lost in my thoughts again. 

He smiled at me, like he’d caught me cheating at a card game.  His soft laughter teasing me until I caught his finger in my mouth and licked it softly before letting it slide back out slowly eliciting a soft gasp.

“Not fair,” he accused in a breathy whisper.

He stared at me with hooded eyes.  Ok, that emotion I could read.  His breathing became slightly uneven and I swear I heard him growl a little.  He wrapped a hand around my waist and pulled me tight against his chest smiling triumphantly when he saw my surprise.  He kissed my forehead softly then my nose. 

“So greedy,” I smiled up at him, squirming under the attention.  He knew by now that I really enjoyed it and secretly craved it.

“Who wouldn’t be?” he said burying his face in the crook of my neck. 

I wound my arms underneath his, wrapping them around him and held him close, breathing in his scent.  I had committed it to memory long ago; a mixture of fresh linen, plain soap and a light hint of vanilla- I could find him blindfolded anytime anywhere no problem.

“I was determined to never date anyone, never fall in love,” I reminisced.  It felt odd to think of the old days.  It was like I was spectator watching old homes movies; the pictures fading, the scenes washed in a sienna tint.  “I felt that love was a stupid and useless feeling that made people do stupid shit and turned them into assholes.  I was already an asshole, so I didn’t need that on top of everything, you know?  But then you came along,” I hugged him tighter.  “For whatever reason- I still can’t fucking figure out- you like me.”   

“You love me too,” he teases.  “You can’t even pretend you don’t anymore, can you?”

I gape at him, though I know he speaks the truth.  Smug bastard.

I grab the sheet and pull it up over him, covering his beautifully offensive face from my sight.  I can hear him chuckling underneath.

My touching moment is spoiled by the sound of an owl outside the window.  His rustling feathers fill the silence of the night air, momentarily drowning out the usual chorus of crickets.  Although I should be used to the sounds of the little night hunters by now, I still turn to look- making sure it’s not something else altogether that’s scared the bird out of its usual perching spot on the tree outside my window.

The sky suddenly glows, making the room bright as daytime for a split second like a camera flashing and then just as suddenly it’s dark again.  I wait.  One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi…  There it is, the loud grumbling of thunder signaling that the storm is not very far. 

I wait in quiet anticipation until I can hear the little pitter patter of rain drops hitting the window.  The light sounds are soothing, but there’s a nagging in the back of my head telling me to jump up out of bed, rush over and close it before it makes a mess.  My high school graduation picture is hanging right by the window.  It might get ruined. 

I pause to reflect why I even care.  My parents have plenty of other pictures.  And well… I don’t want to leave the comfort and warmth of Eren’s side.  I listen to the rain for a moment longer, the soft sounds inducing a hazy melancholy, an indeterminate sadness that derails my previous train of thought.  I turn my attention back to the brat in my bed.

 

“Will you be here in the morning this time?” I ask him, not bothering to hide the hopelessness in my voice. 

He’s never there when I wake up.  It’s not his fault.  He’s explained it over and over.  It can’t be helped. 

I still get upset.

 

The rain is coming down really hard now.  Eren rolls off the bed and rushes to shut the window.  He moves my picture to the top of my dresser and grabs a couple pairs of pajamas.

 

“Levi,” he murmurs as he pulls a shirt on over his head.  “You always ask that.”  It’s barely a whisper.  

He tosses me a sleep shirt and pajama pants, which I quickly slip on.  It will probably get really cold overnight now that it’s raining. 

I sulk.  I know it’s not his fault… but I really really want that- more than anything.  What’s wrong with wanting to wake up in your lover’s arms in the morning, having him be the first thing you see when you start your day? 

Eren crawls back onto the bed with me.  We lie down and he stares into my eyes again.  I frown when I see he has that look again- the one he says I’m imagining. 

 

“I always stay Levi,” he whispers sadly. “You’re the one who doesn’t.”

 

That…

That can’t be right… 

Eren looks at me like he’s waiting for a response.  I don’t know what I’m supposed to answer.  Did he ask me something?  I don’t think he did.  I think he just said- but that can’t be right, I must be hearing wrong.

Wait…

What did he say?

 

“What did you say Eren?” I ask him unable to hide the panic in my voice.

 

His eyes shine with moisture.  Is he crying?  Did I say something I shouldn’t have?

I sit up and stare down at him.  There was something…

 

There was something, we just talked about it, dammit.  We just had a conversation.  I know he said something, I just… I can’t remember.

“It’s ok,” he soothes. 

What’s ok?

I’m scared.  I can feel my face screw up in confusion.  I chew on my lower lip.  I’m not sure why, but I feel like crying.  I’ve forgotten something.  It feels like it was important- but _fuck_ I just can’t remember!

 

“Will you…” I take a shaky breath. 

_Eren, help me.  Eren, I can’t remember what we just talked about.  Eren… I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me._

“Will you still be here in the morning… Eren?” I ask hesitantly. 

He’s been staring at me all this time, waiting, as though he needs to be sure of something before he can proceed.  He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.  He reaches for my hand, intertwines our fingers together and pulls me back down onto the bed next to him.

I don’t realize I’m shaking until he holds me close again. 

“Of course I’ll be here,” he says softly into my hair. 

The relief is so overwhelming, I can feel my body convulse.  I feel my throat constrict and my eyes burn.  I hold onto him tightly because I know what’s coming- and it’s fucking embarrassing.  It’s pretty pathetic how needy I’ve become since this kid’s come into my life.

I cry into his shoulder.  He runs his fingers softly though my hair, smoothing it out and whispering he loves me repeatedly.  I let him say it over and over until I believe it, until I convince myself again that he means it. 

“Don’t ever leave me Eren,” I choke out into his wet shoulder, slippery with my tears.  “I don’t think I could take it.”

“Shh… that’s not going to happen,” he assures me.  “You’re the only one I love- the only one I’ve ever loved.  You’re my whole world, my whole being.  Nothing matters without you.”

I smile. 

“I think I’m starting to believe you, brat,” I tease through my sniffles.  “How long have we been together now?  It’s been months now, hasn’t it?”

“It’s been longer than that, Levi.  Much longer,” he says so quietly I can barely hear him.

Did he say something?

“What did you say Eren?” I ask, needing to be re-assured that I did in fact hear him speak just now.

“It’s been almost three years now, Levi,” he answers me with a lazy smile.  “That’s all.  It’s not a complaint or anything.  I only love you more every day.”

He loves me. 

I feel myself glowing with the confession.  I know he’s said it before- lots of times actually.  But it’s still so amazing to hear.  It’s almost too much for my mind to handle, almost overwhelming.

“I love you more,” I say like a sap.  I can’t even be bothered to be ashamed of myself anymore. 

I wonder how long we’ve been together now.  It feels like it’s been months, maybe even a year.  

“Come here,” he says and pulls me close.

He smiles and gives me one last long kiss before we both whisper our good nights and fall into a calm slumber.

 

* * *

 

“Eren,” Carla warned before cracking open his bedroom door.  “Breakfast is ready.”

“I’m up,” Eren grumbles sleepily, twisting his body in an effort to disentangle himself from his sheets.  His stretches quickly turn into shivers in the cold morning air. 

“Eren, is that rain I see all over the window sill?” she asks with irritation.  “How many times do I have to tell you not to leave your window open at night?  Not only is it dangerous, but the wood might get warped!”

“Sorry,” he groans. 

“And why do you still have that picture of the previous owner’s son?” she asks with narrowed eyes.  “Didn’t I ask you to at least put it away somewhere?”

Eren shrugs.

“Fine, just hurry up already,” she scolds before heading downstairs, leaving the door open. 

Eren takes a moment to pull himself together before carefully retrieving the extra set of pajamas from under the covers. 

He breathes a sigh of relief that his mother hadn’t noticed he’d been crying.

 

* * *

 


End file.
